Rolling in the Deep

That song is in my head right now! haha

I’m so restless right now. I want to do something, but I don’t know what. I mean, I have so much I could be doing - like studying, but I can’t focus on it. So I’ll write a loong post…;)

I’ve had an interesting week, anyway. My mom and sister went on a road trip across the country with my mom’s best friend. I couldn’t go because of school and work. =( So I basically had the house to myself for most of the week (my dad works in a different city and stays there during the week). They left Monday and they’ll be back next Thursday. The first day after they left I cried for an hour. It makes me sound lame, but I think I have attachment issues or something. I like being by myself and I love being able to do whatever I want, whenever I want. But, I felt like I was 6 years old and my parents had left me with the scary babysitter. Except there was no babysitter and I have to take care of myself. Which you’d think I could do since I am 21!

For the most part, I’ve actually done a lot better than I thought I might. I haven’t had any more major crying spells (which I tend to get if I’m in the house alone) and I’ve had fun playing my music, studying, and watching whatever TV shows I want.

The one thing that’s been a little bit of a challenge is, of course, eating. We stocked up on plenty of food and there are a couple of times where I’ll eat out when I’m at school or work. Now I have to admit, that this past month I’ve been feeling “fat”, I have no idea why. I’ve lost a tiny amount of weight and had to deal with the some ED guilt. On top of that, not being able to see what and how much my sister is eating is really hard for me. I feel like I’m eating soo much more than she will be eating. I feel like a horrible person whenever I mention how much I rely on her and compare myself to her. It makes me sound so controlling and jealous - I’m not, honestly! I just have this (irrational) fear that since she’s on the road, she won’t be eating as much and will lose weight, blah, blah, blah. But that’s no reason for ME to lose weight. I can’t control what she does, I can only control what I do - I need to believe this.

Anyyway, I actually have been eating pretty well and trying to gain back those couple of pounds. I’ve tried out some new recipes!
I decided to make pancakes the yesterday!

(ew blurry picture)

I followed the this this amazing girl's (if you read this Jess - you are one of my blog idols, lol!). I made a few modifications/substitutions because I didn’t have some of the ingredients. I used flaxseed instead of chia, oats instead of wheat germ, and cloves instead of nutmeg. They turned out great! I made a yogurt-orange juice-maple syrup topping to go with them. Yum!

They were so good that I had to make them again today! This time I used some almond meal as a sub for the wheat germ, strawberry yogurt, and cinnamon only. Reeally good. =) Unfortunately, I didn’t realize that I had too many pictures saved in my phone, so it didn’t save the picture. =(

Then I got creative and decided to create my own “recipe” for lunch. I had a bag of mixed greens (kale, mustard greens, spinach) that needed to be used up. So I sautéed a clove of garlic and some turkey (although if you’re a vegetarian, you obviously don’t have to use it) in olive oil. Then I removed that from the pan and added the greens. I let those cook down with some water, then added the turkey and garlic back in with some spices. I was going for sort of an Indian theme, so I put in a little curry, cumin, coriander, and black pepper. I decided to make a sort of sauce with yogurt, lemon juice, and more of the spices to stir in at the last minute. Well, it was successful! The only thing I wasn’t crazy about was the yogurt itself. I only had vanilla so the taste of the sauce was a bit too sweet. I would def. use plain yogurt, if you try something like this!
Again my phone was being dumb, so here’s a representation instead:

source

Obviously, this is not all I ate, but these are some of the more interesting things.

Well, that was a monstrous post! I’m off to do a bit more studying and then sleeep!
I hope all of you are doing well and thank you for being so wonderful to me!
<3

First, I have to say how incredibly sad I am for the people of Japan and everyone who was effected by the earthquake, tsunami, and their after effects. Even though I have faith that all things happen for a reason and that Someone is watching over us, it’s so hard for me to comprehend why something like this could happen to innocent people. It really does put my own small troubles and worries into perspective.

On a completely different note, I thought I’d take part in a fun little survey that’s going around. (Sorry if I’m coping anyone! Hehe) I have a pretty busy weekend and week ahead, so this is perfect quick post. Enjoy!

Age: 21 - am I really that old??

Bed size: twin

Chore I dislike: Hanging up my clothes, hence the large pile that is always in front of my closet…

Dogs: I’ve had a Bichon and a Maltese, but I’m really a cat person at heart.

Essential start to the day: Breakfast of course! My favorite meal of the day. J

Fav color - Green!!! I have so much green stuff

Gold or Silver - silver

Height - 4’11”

Instruments I play - Hmm, I used to play the piano and the guitar, but not at all any more

Job - Figure skating coach, gym receptionist, and student

Kids - Eventually I want 2 or 3

Live - A very fine place ;)

Mom’s name - Mommee!!!

Nickname - princess lila is my name here…J

Overnight hospital stays - A lot when I was a very sick baby and then when I was 14.

Pet Peeves - When people reach over my head to open a door or grab something off a shelf - just because I’m short doesn’t mean I’m not there!

Quote from a movie - Inconceivable! Hehe

Righty or lefty - right!

Siblings - Younger sister<3

Time you get up - Anywhere from 5:30 to 7:00 depending on the day

Underwear - uhhh pretty normal underwear I think

Vegetable that you hate - Bell peppers, ewww

What makes you late - Usually last minute studying or eating before class, but I’m rarely ever late. I’m usually the first one in class!

X rays - I’ve had some when I was a baby, but I don’t remember

Yummy food that you make - I LOVE baking all sorts of things! And I’m on a oatmeal kick right now.

Zoo animal - Tigers, okapis, and sea otters
<3

Here Comes the Sun

So today's post is going to be super random because I'm feeling totally ADD right now. :)

Maybe that's because it's so WARM today! My local news stations says 74!!! I'm actually only wearing one pair of pants and a 3/4 sleeved shirt, lol.

I hope this continues!

I'm feeling so much better in regards to school. I have a relatively easy week because I pretty much finished my paper and I only have a couple of routine quizzes. Remember how I was freaking out about that one midterm that I had? Well, it turns out that no one did that well on it. But, apparently the professor curved the grade for the other section of the class, but NOT the section that I go to! That is completely unfair, so I think my class is going to call her out on that. If she ends up curving it, then I'll get an A!

Eating has been so-so lately. When I'm at home I can eat all day, but when I'm at school it's a bit harder. I guess it's just so easy to restrict there because no one really pays attention. And half the time other people aren't eating so I get that "I don't need to eat either" mentality. But of course I have to remind myself that I don't know what they eat the rest of the day and everyone has different needs anyway. So there, ED :p

However, I'm not ashamed to say that I had one of these today:

Gotta love leftover Valentine's Day candy!

And I've been noshing (such a weird word) on these this week:

Peanut Butter (Flour) Chocolate Chip Cookies! Well actually, they are M and M because we didn't have any chocolate chips. They are amazing - they're soft and taste like peanut butter, but they actually just have peanut flour. And I used a flax egg which I've recently discovered in the realms of blog world. It works wonderfully, but it does add little flecks of black stuff in the baked goods, so you have to convince your friends that they aren't ant legs. (Sorry, was that gross?) Here is the cookie recipe: http://www.itzyskitchen.com/2010/09/peanut-butter-flour-chocolate-chip.html (Oh and I used the real butter option;)

Well, I'm going to do a bit of studying and then enjoy this weather. I hope you all have a wonderful weekend.
Love you all!
<3

More Than Some Pretty Face Beside a Train

Gosh you guys! Thanks for the wonderful comments you all leave on my posts. It really means a lot that people read and maybe even care about my ramblings. ;) Blogger says I have 17 followers now, which is amazing because when I started this I didn't really think about people actually following. Sooo...Thank you!!!

I FINALLY made overnight oats this week. Yay! So good and simple. I used 1/2 cup oats, 1/2 cup yogurt, and 1/2 cup milk with some flax, cinnamon, and maple syrup.

(The bowl I used was big, so it doesn't look like very much, but it was.) I topped them with pear sauce and a little honey before consuming. :) Now, I need to think of my next flavor - perhaps chocolate a la Ash?

So I was reading this at work yesterday:

(source)
It made me a little angry actually. Ok, I know US Weekly is not exactly a tome of accurate, truthful information and it’s known for being sensational just to sell copies. And I also don’t want to discredit someone because I know everyone is different. But, I’m just not sure how much I believe Bethenny Frankel’s story or her “new” outlook. In the interview she talks about her insecurities with her appearance and her many attempts to lose weight. She doesn’t go so far as saying she had an eating disorder, but its certainly sounds like it. Then she says that before a trip to Italy she completely changed her views. And now she’s all about balance and health. I guess that could happen, of course, and I’m sure she did go through changes, but then on the side of the article there’s a list of all her products -SkinnyGirl Daily cleanse and supplements, a book called Naturally Thin, a yoga DVD, and a body shaper!

Now I don’t really know much about Bethenny because I never watched Real Housewives or her other shows and I don’t want to discredit someone’s experiences, but those products do not sound helpful for people who struggle with body image! Aside from whether Bethenny had an eating disorder or not, I can’t imagine that something called SkinnyGirl is all that healthy to promote.

Anyway, I’m probably overreacting and I’m sorry to all the Bethenny Frankel fans out there. I’m not trying to be rude, I just get annoyed when I people promote “healthy” products that can easily feed into disordered thinking.

Well, I hope you are all having a lovely weekend. It’s raining here today, but tomorrow is supposed to be nice. I can’t wait to start a fresh new week - I need it after this one!
<3

Hello World

This past week/weekend was hard. Not so much eating wise, although that does suffer when I'm stressed, but school was seriously kicking my you-know-what. Monday, I had the hardest midterm I've ever had and I'm not being dramatic either. Nothing that the instructor said was going to be on the test was on there and it was a totally different style then the quiz we'd had earlier in the semester. Everyone in the class was mad about it, so I guess that's sort of good - at least it wasn't just me! I cried after that one though.
And today, I had another midterm with the same instructor (she teaches two classes - the joys of going to a small, private grad school!). It was almost as hard. Plus we've been having some financial problems in my family and my mom has been really stressed and depressed which always makes ME stressed and depressed. So, yeah...I've shed a few tears.

Speaking of which, I do tend to cry easily. Usually only when I'm by myself, but I probably cry a few times a month, at least. I'm not really sure if its good or bad or what - it's just me. Sometimes I just feel like I HAVE to cry, you know? Sometimes its just spontaneous and sometimes its in response to the news or a song or even a music video (I know kinda cheesy...)

On a cheerier subject I've had many good things to eat this week. :) I've been restricting a little from stress and all that junk, but I've still managed to have some tasty treats:

Fried rice:

Dal (Indian style lentils):

Borscht in a bread bowl:

Chocolate cake:

(Sorry for the poor picture quality)

As you can see, my sister and I like to experiment with international cuisines. It's fun to try different dishes and get ideas to incorporate into everyday meals!

I think I told a few of you that I was going to make overnight oats. Well, I never got around to it because of the above craziness, but I AM making it tonight! Crossing my fingers that it works!

Take care you guys. "Knowing" all of you makes watching the world news seem more important to me because I know alot of you are directly dealing with some of the stuff that's happening. Reading Ashley's and Katy's blogs make what I see on TV more relevant and real. I'm thinking of and praying for all of you!

Questions: Do you cry easily? What is your favorite type of cuisine?

<3

We Are All Lovers and Takers

Hey everyone! I’ve been MIA again, sooo sorry. I’ve been reading all your blogs, but my commenting has been sporadic and that makes me sad and a little guilty. :( I’ve been busy as always, but I’ve also just felt a little “off”. Idk what’s going on, I’m not depressed or anything, but I think life is just catching up to me lately. I had three in-class midterms plus a take home one. Which you’d think would be easy, but it took me forever because most of the questions were more on what the professor’s lecture in class, rather than what was in the book. So I had to go through all my notes and listen to my recordings…aah so frustrating. Then I took another skating test (I passed, yay!) and I’ve had to work a lot, too.

As far as Valentine’s Day goes, I didn’t really do anything. I’m a single gal so its just a fun day for me. My sister made almond macaroons that looked almost like this (although slightly less pro)

I had a class so I took some to share.

I do have a kinda cute Valentine’s story though. The only time I’ve had a Valentine on Valentine’s day was when I was in kindergarten, lol. My class, of course, exchanged little cards with Barbie and Superman, etc. on them and I got one from my crush so I was happy. Of course you had to give cards to everyone in the class, but still… ;)
The next day, he gave me another Valentine card. He said that he’d told his mom that he liked me and so she said to give me a card every day. (I think she just wanted to get rid of the leftover cards :p) So he gave me cards for the next few days and that made him my boyfriend. Shouldn’t love always be that simple?

Anyway…I’m off to study about asthma and nasal congestion - fun! I should be able to post again sometime next week and have more interesting things to say and maybe some pictures. Love you all!
<3

That It All Works Out the Way Its Meant to Be

Thank you for all the comments and support on my last post. :) Just to clarify, I'm not jealous or bitter about my sister at all - I love her to death and I'm so proud of her, almost like she's my daughter. Sometimes, though, I just let my own insecurities get in the way of how I view my own self worth.

Sooo...yesterday's calender:

Which was perfect because I needed to start my 9 page term paper. Fun, fun! I know I said before that I like writing papers and that is very true - except it's a bit hard to be motivated when I also like catching up on this:

And this:

I don't watch alot of TV, usually. The morning news, FoodNetwork, and HGTV are pretty much it. But, every once in a while I go on Hulu and watch one of these. They're hilarious and good to watch when you need a laugh.

Aside from paper writing and mindless TV show watching, I've made alot of yummy food lately - if I do say so my self. ;)

My sister's b-day cake:

It's called a Tres Leches Cake. It was really rich, but really good. I should say that I ate some! In fact I always eat everything I make, even if its just a few bites (although, usually its more than that!) I eat dessert everyday and I always have, even when I was the most sick. Honestly, I think that's how I was able to somewhat survive the whole time. (Oh, yeah, we replaced the pecans shown in the cookbook with chocolate pieces.)

My sister and I like to experiment with different types of food. Here's our version of Indonesian fried rice:

South American themed fish cooked in paper w/ corn cakes and, of course, kale chips!

A mint chocolate-chip meringue that I ate at work:

(Not the best picture I guess, I'd already eaten part of it, lol)

We're giving out samples of this cereal at work, so of course I had to take one:

I love the little box! I haven't tasted it yet, but my boss said its really good. :)

And just so you know that I don't always where frumpy clothes and have messy hair while I hold up random items to my webcam:

(Ok, my hair's still messy :p)

Have an amazing weekend everyone!

<3