Monday, December 19, 2011

OMG We're Back Again!!

(Sorry for the cheesy title!;)
So...It's been almost exactly 2 months since I last posted. Seriously?? Where does time go?
I have so much to say because so much has happened and changed in that time period. I really don't know where to begin.

On the eating front - well, I feel almost "normal". It's strange, as if one day I just decided that I was sick of obsessing over food. I mean I love/hate food still, but I've been eating more than I ever have and loving it! And I haven't really even gained any weight. In fact, because I've been exercising, I actually have some arm muscles and I'm even beginning to love my body. Of course there are still days when I think, "Ugh, I'm f*t", but I really try to just push those thoughts aside and get on with it. It might sound woo-woo or corny, but my mantra is "I can eat whatever I want and not worry about it." And I honestly believe its working. I eat a ton of "healthy" food still, but I also eat Red Velvet Cream Cheese Brownies, which in my opinion are healthy too(but then I'm never one to turn away dessert, anyway!:)

As far as life goes, my family suffered the loss of a dear friend, who was like an aunt to me. She was my mom's best friend for 31 years, her matron-of-honor, and the equivalent of god mother to me and my sister. She passed away completely unexpectedly in October - she was only 64. It's been incredibly hard for my mom who used to call/text her almost every day. I believe in Heaven, and I know she is watching over us, another angel to care for us, but it makes me incredibly aware of how fragile we humans are and how every single second is a gift. And while, this shouldn't be about me, I do think it's helped me in my recovery to see the bigger picture - how precious life itself is and how we can't worry about little things like weight and size because there is so much more that we need to enjoy while we are here in this world.

In happier news, I'm flying out to day to visit my sister who is touring with an ice skating show!!! I'm so, so excited because I haven't seen her since July. This is the longest time I've been separated from her since she was born! lol. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't a little worried about how my eating philosophy is going to hold up during the trip, but I'm going to try hard to stay on top of things. Backsliding is not an option!!

Oh and I'm on break from school, which is why I can write this post. It was a ROUGH semester, but I got through it and I'm glad to be able to relax now! I apologize for not reading/commenting on all of your blogs more often, but hopefully that will happen a bit more now at least after this week when I get back from my trip. I'm not sure when I'll be able to post again, but just know that I still think of you all often and I honestly love and appreciate each one of your beautiful souls!