Monday, June 27, 2011

I'm Almost There (?)

Hey guys!
Warning! The first part of this post is basically me whining about my life, so feel free to skip it and go on to the (hopefully) more fun part.

Right, so I've had a stressful two weeks since I last blogged (thank you to all who commented on my vlog, btw!). I had midterms, but I just couldn't get into the groove of studying and really wanting to do well. I don't know; I have A's in all my classes, but it don't feel like I'm doing enough and then I get angry with myself for not trying hard enough and wasting time (Facebook! Blogs! Skating!)

I guess I was just over-all having a bad image week because then I started wondering what was wrong with me that: I don't drive, I don't have a boyfriend or even any real male attention, I feel like I eat too much and don't exercise enough, and my stomach felt huge. :( The thing is I none of this usually bothers me too much (except for not driving) and honestly I like who I am.

I think part of what set me down this negative road was a sense of non-completion. I have quite a few friends my age who are graduating from college this year. To me it seems like their lives are beginning and they are "free" and have accomplished something. I was homeschooled, went to Jr. college, and then started this acupuncture/Masters program right away. So I still have about 2 more years until I graduate and then I have to take National and State boards. So, I feel like I've never really completed anything, like this is just one long story instead of a chapter book. It feels so far until the end.

My self-pity was compounded by the fact that my sister was hired by a skating show and she leaves at the end of July. Don't get me wrong, I am SOOO happy for her!! It will be an amazing opportunity and I know she'll have so much fun. But, my sister is my best friend - we've been basically attached at the hip for 19 years and we've never spent more than 10 days apart. It will be a major adjustment for me to be here by myself with just my mom and dad (whom I love, btw, but still...).

Basically all this craziness cumulated in me having a major breakdown on Thursday. My poor mother! I basically sobbed to her for hour about how "abnormal" and hopeless I am. After that, though, I felt a bit better and I'm slowly trying to get out of the funk. Reading all your blogs has seriously helped inspire me. Your struggles and triumphs really help me see that life is not bad at all - in fact, it is pretty amazing!

Now moving on... :)

I wanted to do a sort of WIAW (M?), but decided to do it a bit differently. So here's what I ate for breakfast last week:

Gotta have vitamins!

Yes that's white bread - no I didn't grow an extra head after I ate it! ;)
Two types of cereal are better than one.
Overnight oats (w/ added toppings after the pic)!
This was a quick breakfast - I was STARVING a few hours later. Note: granola bars are not very filling. :p

Ok, so I didn't have this for breakfast, but how could I not take a picture of peach pie!

Here's to a better week for everyone. I know I'm going to try to keep it positive!

Thanks for reading guys! Much love!

Sunday, June 5, 2011

What Use Is It To Sing Helplessness Blues

Life can be rough and messy. But there are so many simple, wonderful things to be thankful for.

Being able to study outside on a beautiful day.

Overnight oats in a clearance cashew butter jar.

Homeade lasagna.

A current song obsession.

A mother who makes you adorable reflex hammer cases.

And taking pictures of yourself even when you're a hot mess with no make-up.
Love, love