I Need...

Hey all!

I have soo much that I want to write about, but unfortunately my life is getting in the way (how dare that happen, right?!) and I have little time to comment on and read blogs, let alone actually write a coherent post. I think I'm going to have to take a few weeks break from blogger (noooo!!) just so I can get some studying done. Finals are over the next 2 weeks so I have to go into study mode. :/

But, I did want to tell you guys that I survived being by myself for a week! Yay! Toward the end I actually stopped worrying so much about what was going on with my sister and mom and focused more on myself. I asked myself WWOBD (what would other bloggers do) and decided that I really wanted to try and listen to my own body. I think it went really well. I've lifted myself out of my own personal "danger zone" of weight loss. I was not actually underweight; its just the point that I know I've started to lose my grip, if you know what I mean.

I'm really trying to continue this mindset since my family is back. So far it's been touch and go, but I really think my general attitude has shifted even ever so slightly. I don't know - I just feel different. I really want to thank you guys for helping me out with this and encouraging me. Even just reading your blogs gets me thinking about what I can change. Always learning is def. the motto around here!


So my mom and sis brought back some fun things from their trip. I'm going to wait and post the rest when I have time to really get into it, but here's one of my favorite things:

not my picture

Needhams!

A candy from Maine that has coconut, potato, chocolate.Calorie bomb? yes. Have I been eating them? yes. Are they delicious? YES!

Ok so I might not be around for a couple weeks to comment, but I'm still thinking of you all!

Love, love, love<3

Rolling in the Deep

That song is in my head right now! haha

I’m so restless right now. I want to do something, but I don’t know what. I mean, I have so much I could be doing - like studying, but I can’t focus on it. So I’ll write a loong post…;)

I’ve had an interesting week, anyway. My mom and sister went on a road trip across the country with my mom’s best friend. I couldn’t go because of school and work. =( So I basically had the house to myself for most of the week (my dad works in a different city and stays there during the week). They left Monday and they’ll be back next Thursday. The first day after they left I cried for an hour. It makes me sound lame, but I think I have attachment issues or something. I like being by myself and I love being able to do whatever I want, whenever I want. But, I felt like I was 6 years old and my parents had left me with the scary babysitter. Except there was no babysitter and I have to take care of myself. Which you’d think I could do since I am 21!

For the most part, I’ve actually done a lot better than I thought I might. I haven’t had any more major crying spells (which I tend to get if I’m in the house alone) and I’ve had fun playing my music, studying, and watching whatever TV shows I want.

The one thing that’s been a little bit of a challenge is, of course, eating. We stocked up on plenty of food and there are a couple of times where I’ll eat out when I’m at school or work. Now I have to admit, that this past month I’ve been feeling “fat”, I have no idea why. I’ve lost a tiny amount of weight and had to deal with the some ED guilt. On top of that, not being able to see what and how much my sister is eating is really hard for me. I feel like I’m eating soo much more than she will be eating. I feel like a horrible person whenever I mention how much I rely on her and compare myself to her. It makes me sound so controlling and jealous - I’m not, honestly! I just have this (irrational) fear that since she’s on the road, she won’t be eating as much and will lose weight, blah, blah, blah. But that’s no reason for ME to lose weight. I can’t control what she does, I can only control what I do - I need to believe this.

Anyyway, I actually have been eating pretty well and trying to gain back those couple of pounds. I’ve tried out some new recipes!
I decided to make pancakes the yesterday!

(ew blurry picture)

I followed the this this amazing girl's (if you read this Jess - you are one of my blog idols, lol!). I made a few modifications/substitutions because I didn’t have some of the ingredients. I used flaxseed instead of chia, oats instead of wheat germ, and cloves instead of nutmeg. They turned out great! I made a yogurt-orange juice-maple syrup topping to go with them. Yum!

They were so good that I had to make them again today! This time I used some almond meal as a sub for the wheat germ, strawberry yogurt, and cinnamon only. Reeally good. =) Unfortunately, I didn’t realize that I had too many pictures saved in my phone, so it didn’t save the picture. =(

Then I got creative and decided to create my own “recipe” for lunch. I had a bag of mixed greens (kale, mustard greens, spinach) that needed to be used up. So I sautéed a clove of garlic and some turkey (although if you’re a vegetarian, you obviously don’t have to use it) in olive oil. Then I removed that from the pan and added the greens. I let those cook down with some water, then added the turkey and garlic back in with some spices. I was going for sort of an Indian theme, so I put in a little curry, cumin, coriander, and black pepper. I decided to make a sort of sauce with yogurt, lemon juice, and more of the spices to stir in at the last minute. Well, it was successful! The only thing I wasn’t crazy about was the yogurt itself. I only had vanilla so the taste of the sauce was a bit too sweet. I would def. use plain yogurt, if you try something like this!
Again my phone was being dumb, so here’s a representation instead:

source

Obviously, this is not all I ate, but these are some of the more interesting things.

Well, that was a monstrous post! I’m off to do a bit more studying and then sleeep!
I hope all of you are doing well and thank you for being so wonderful to me!
<3

First, I have to say how incredibly sad I am for the people of Japan and everyone who was effected by the earthquake, tsunami, and their after effects. Even though I have faith that all things happen for a reason and that Someone is watching over us, it’s so hard for me to comprehend why something like this could happen to innocent people. It really does put my own small troubles and worries into perspective.

On a completely different note, I thought I’d take part in a fun little survey that’s going around. (Sorry if I’m coping anyone! Hehe) I have a pretty busy weekend and week ahead, so this is perfect quick post. Enjoy!

Age: 21 - am I really that old??

Bed size: twin

Chore I dislike: Hanging up my clothes, hence the large pile that is always in front of my closet…

Dogs: I’ve had a Bichon and a Maltese, but I’m really a cat person at heart.

Essential start to the day: Breakfast of course! My favorite meal of the day. J

Fav color - Green!!! I have so much green stuff

Gold or Silver - silver

Height - 4’11”

Instruments I play - Hmm, I used to play the piano and the guitar, but not at all any more

Job - Figure skating coach, gym receptionist, and student

Kids - Eventually I want 2 or 3

Live - A very fine place ;)

Mom’s name - Mommee!!!

Nickname - princess lila is my name here…J

Overnight hospital stays - A lot when I was a very sick baby and then when I was 14.

Pet Peeves - When people reach over my head to open a door or grab something off a shelf - just because I’m short doesn’t mean I’m not there!

Quote from a movie - Inconceivable! Hehe

Righty or lefty - right!

Siblings - Younger sister<3

Time you get up - Anywhere from 5:30 to 7:00 depending on the day

Underwear - uhhh pretty normal underwear I think

Vegetable that you hate - Bell peppers, ewww

What makes you late - Usually last minute studying or eating before class, but I’m rarely ever late. I’m usually the first one in class!

X rays - I’ve had some when I was a baby, but I don’t remember

Yummy food that you make - I LOVE baking all sorts of things! And I’m on a oatmeal kick right now.

Zoo animal - Tigers, okapis, and sea otters
<3

Here Comes the Sun

So today's post is going to be super random because I'm feeling totally ADD right now. :)

Maybe that's because it's so WARM today! My local news stations says 74!!! I'm actually only wearing one pair of pants and a 3/4 sleeved shirt, lol.

I hope this continues!

I'm feeling so much better in regards to school. I have a relatively easy week because I pretty much finished my paper and I only have a couple of routine quizzes. Remember how I was freaking out about that one midterm that I had? Well, it turns out that no one did that well on it. But, apparently the professor curved the grade for the other section of the class, but NOT the section that I go to! That is completely unfair, so I think my class is going to call her out on that. If she ends up curving it, then I'll get an A!

Eating has been so-so lately. When I'm at home I can eat all day, but when I'm at school it's a bit harder. I guess it's just so easy to restrict there because no one really pays attention. And half the time other people aren't eating so I get that "I don't need to eat either" mentality. But of course I have to remind myself that I don't know what they eat the rest of the day and everyone has different needs anyway. So there, ED :p

However, I'm not ashamed to say that I had one of these today:

Gotta love leftover Valentine's Day candy!

And I've been noshing (such a weird word) on these this week:

Peanut Butter (Flour) Chocolate Chip Cookies! Well actually, they are M and M because we didn't have any chocolate chips. They are amazing - they're soft and taste like peanut butter, but they actually just have peanut flour. And I used a flax egg which I've recently discovered in the realms of blog world. It works wonderfully, but it does add little flecks of black stuff in the baked goods, so you have to convince your friends that they aren't ant legs. (Sorry, was that gross?) Here is the cookie recipe: http://www.itzyskitchen.com/2010/09/peanut-butter-flour-chocolate-chip.html (Oh and I used the real butter option;)

Well, I'm going to do a bit of studying and then enjoy this weather. I hope you all have a wonderful weekend.
Love you all!
<3