*Trigger Warning* - My Story
While I don't want this blog to be strictly about my ed or my recovery, I do want to share some background info for those who are interested. =)
I suppose it all began when I was around 12 or 13. I started figure skating then, but I don't know if that really had anything to do with me wanting to be thinner. I guess it was just natural adolescent insecurity and my perfectionist tendencies. Pretty typical story, right?
I was by no means fat. I had always been tiny (4 weeks premature, 13 lbs when I was 1yr old) and I doubt even at my heaviest I got over 100 lbs. (I'm 4'11). But, I still thought I was getting too big. So, I slowly started to eat less and less, while skating more and more. At first no one really noticed, but then my mom figured out that something was up. We started arguing about my eating and plenty of tears were shed.
Finally, when I was just shy of 15, I had a skating competition. I fell during my program, hit my head on the ice, and was knocked unconscious. I laid there for 15 minutes before the ambulance got there and, of course, by that time I had gone into hypothermia. When I was admitted to the ER the doctors immediately suspected anorexia. And so my recovery began. It wasn't that easy, of course. I fought and cried and hated my life throughout it all. Slowly, though, I began to get better and things got easier. I had the love and support of my family and God to help me.
I still have my slip ups and my moments, even 6 years later. I still feel like I have to exercise almost every day and I hate snacks, but I am at a healthy weight and I love my life. Actually, I love food, too! I always have. Healthy food and junk food are equally delicious in my book and I will always say yes to dessert!
I am here to support anyone wherever they are in life's struggles. I am not going to judge people or preach to them, but to those of you who are living with an ED or who are in the process of recovery, I just want to say that it WILL get better. Yes, as trite and cliche as that sounds, you are amazing, not because of how much you weigh, but because God created each and every one of you to be His special sons and daughters.
Thank you for reading this and if you have any questions just ask! <3