Monday, June 27, 2011

I'm Almost There (?)

Hey guys!
Warning! The first part of this post is basically me whining about my life, so feel free to skip it and go on to the (hopefully) more fun part.

Right, so I've had a stressful two weeks since I last blogged (thank you to all who commented on my vlog, btw!). I had midterms, but I just couldn't get into the groove of studying and really wanting to do well. I don't know; I have A's in all my classes, but it don't feel like I'm doing enough and then I get angry with myself for not trying hard enough and wasting time (Facebook! Blogs! Skating!)

I guess I was just over-all having a bad image week because then I started wondering what was wrong with me that: I don't drive, I don't have a boyfriend or even any real male attention, I feel like I eat too much and don't exercise enough, and my stomach felt huge. :( The thing is I none of this usually bothers me too much (except for not driving) and honestly I like who I am.

I think part of what set me down this negative road was a sense of non-completion. I have quite a few friends my age who are graduating from college this year. To me it seems like their lives are beginning and they are "free" and have accomplished something. I was homeschooled, went to Jr. college, and then started this acupuncture/Masters program right away. So I still have about 2 more years until I graduate and then I have to take National and State boards. So, I feel like I've never really completed anything, like this is just one long story instead of a chapter book. It feels so far until the end.

My self-pity was compounded by the fact that my sister was hired by a skating show and she leaves at the end of July. Don't get me wrong, I am SOOO happy for her!! It will be an amazing opportunity and I know she'll have so much fun. But, my sister is my best friend - we've been basically attached at the hip for 19 years and we've never spent more than 10 days apart. It will be a major adjustment for me to be here by myself with just my mom and dad (whom I love, btw, but still...).

Basically all this craziness cumulated in me having a major breakdown on Thursday. My poor mother! I basically sobbed to her for hour about how "abnormal" and hopeless I am. After that, though, I felt a bit better and I'm slowly trying to get out of the funk. Reading all your blogs has seriously helped inspire me. Your struggles and triumphs really help me see that life is not bad at all - in fact, it is pretty amazing!

Now moving on... :)

I wanted to do a sort of WIAW (M?), but decided to do it a bit differently. So here's what I ate for breakfast last week:

Gotta have vitamins!

Yes that's white bread - no I didn't grow an extra head after I ate it! ;)
Two types of cereal are better than one.
Overnight oats (w/ added toppings after the pic)!
This was a quick breakfast - I was STARVING a few hours later. Note: granola bars are not very filling. :p

Ok, so I didn't have this for breakfast, but how could I not take a picture of peach pie!

Here's to a better week for everyone. I know I'm going to try to keep it positive!

Thanks for reading guys! Much love!


  1. Angel, I found it so hard when all my friends graduated and seemed to be moving on and I was still stuck behind.
    It took me a long time to get to where I am, and I did it far later.
    But I got there.
    You will too.

    As for your sister. My brother left home a few years ago and it was so hard, so I feel your pain there.

    And the mum thing, story of my life.
    Hang on lovely, you will come through this <3

  2. It makes me sad to hear you put yourself down. You are such a unique and kind spirit girl! I think self-comparison can often lead to these types of negative thoughts but please remember that they are just thoughts, not truths. You have so much going for you. Your journey is just different from your friends and your sister, but that doesn't make it bad. Think of all the special things that you have to offer the world!

    Hang in there gorgeous!

  3. Oh girl, it's perfectly okay to not feel amazing about your life all the time. I struggle a lot with not having any guys in my life or even male attention. It hurts sometimes but you are a beautiful woman and I know you'll find the perfect guy someday :)

    I'm sorry about your sister leaving. It sounds like a great opportunity but since you and her are so close, I'm sure it'll be a hard transition for both of you. Me and my little sister are best friends, too, and the first time I ever spent a long time away from her was last fall when I started college. It wad really hard, but I really believe we got closer. Hopefully the same thing will happen with you and your

    I love your WIAW breakfast idea. It's creative and all your breakfasts look so good!