Or most of one anyway. You see, I can eat scrambled eggs with the yolks mixed in ok, but an over-hard or fried egg yolk? Not happening. But today I ate it. :)
I've been hearing/reading alot about intuitive eating and it makes me think about my own habits. As much as I hate to admit it, I probably wouldn't say I'm an intuitive eater. I eat my three meals a day, but it's usually regardless of when/if I'm hungry. If I get hungry at 4:00 I'll wait until dinnertime to eat. If I'm not hungry at breakfast, I eat it anyway because I know I need to. I don't know whether this is healthy or unhealthy, but, honestly, it seems to work for me. My weight only fluctuates 3 or 4 pounds up or down at any given time. I might not always eat guilt free, but usually I enjoy my meals because I know I'm giving my body what it needs and, quite frankly, I love food!
Maybe, I'm still being "safe" about it, even after all these years. Maybe I'll eventually learn how to eat whatever I want, whenever I want. I would love to be able to listen to my body. But, right now, I'm still not sure what my body is telling me. I DO know what ED is telling me and I have to fight that with whatever I can. And being a little more strict about my eating is how I do that right now.
I'm definitely not trying to attack intuitive eating or anything like that. I think it's a wonderful thing, something that is great to aspire to. I've just been feeling rather guilty that I "can't" do it and I had get it out of my system. So I really, really hope no one takes offense to this - I love all you guys too much!
On a brighter note: we're halfway through the week! Only a few more days until a brand new year. Wow, 2011 - makes me feel old, lol. I hope everyone has a wonderful New Years!<3
I completely understand! Intuitive eating is a struggle for me since I still have a hard time telling when I'm hungry or not...And my ED uses that of coarse to reassure me that I am full, quite full....I try but it's so confusing...
ReplyDeleteI know! I can't believe it's almost 2011! It seems like 2000 and y2k just happened....Time flies.
Take care! *HUG*
~Lily
Yeah, I kinda felt the same way too/: Like today I got hungry at 4 and I actually said; hey, I should have a snack! It was kinda nice. It is hard to break free of Ed's rigid rules, but we'll both completely let go of him eventually(: For now, you just do what feels right for you.
ReplyDeleteHi there, I just found your blog and I. love. it! Your story is pretty similar to mine, I did dance for a lot of my life and there's so much pressure in that to be skinny and perfect. I also have been petite and underweight my entire life. I liked this post a lot, because I've been hearing so much about intuitive eating and it doesn't seem right for me at this point in my recovery. I always eat around the same times, whether I'm hungry or not. And I don't necessarily eat as much as my body is telling me to, which isn't always good. Thanks for all your insight!
ReplyDelete-Ash
This blog kind of scared me. Well, not kind of, it did scare me. Last Thursday night for the first time in almost 3 years I ate an egg yolk. Not a scrambled up yolk (that's easy), but a full on egg yolk poached in fresh tomato juice. I was scared at first and almost refused to eat it, but then I just cut it up and ate it little by little and I'm still alive. I might even be brave enough to have another one this week.
ReplyDeleteI know what you mean about intuitive eating. Maybe one day we'll be at a place where we can eat, not just because we know we should, but because we want to. I hope so.
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